Working with clients experiencing the debilitating mental, emotional and physical presence and aftermath of physiological depression is becoming a daily occurrence in our Bondi Junction Counselling practice.
Here below are some articles which we on post from beyondblue the nationally recognised organisation dealing with Depression.
Whilst the article does focus specifically on men, many women also experience mood swings and depression.
However in our practice we find that women are much more willing to seek help, counselling and therapy. So we are especially inviting and granting permission for more to ask for support and see just why they find themselves in "hot water" so often.
However please let us help dispel the theory that you might have something "wrong with you" or you will be exposed as weak or not good enough.
To the contrary virtually all men who attend Counselling with us have the most wonderful opening exposure and release to new previously unimagined freedom that they become our greatest advocates for previously fixated social change.
Unfortunately there seems to be a social self protecting legacy or attitude stifling relationships in this modern age as we become more insular and closed for our individual emotional and materialistic safety.
There is an unspoken and also unconscious belief that it's ok for girls to be emotional and cry but boys just "move on" and be strong dreading fear of collapse or failure.
"Next" they are saying these days as they hold onto their pride, often terrorfied..
Then there is the aspect of girls being the "willing nesters" and naturally wanting to have babies and boys not needing to stay in one bed to have their sexual need gratified or be committed to a 20 year family and mortgage when life is very good as it is.
However society has had it that boys must be "toughened up" from the earliest of ages and learn to suppress their emotions, which they are encouraged to do as soon as they are "Big Boys" about 4 years of age.
From then on boys begin to disconnect from their emotional sensations. They actually 'blind' themselves to psychologically to the gentle sensitivities of their own body. Sure they recognise the stronger sensations such as "bathroom calls'" or hunger and thirst and hot and cold, its the gentler body tremors we refer to here.
Media reports would have us believing that recent generations would have erections and getting "alcohol blinded " and smashed as seeming to be their prime mile post for scoring the distance traveled , conquests made on route travelled. Other exciting mind loosing events through life drift in and out of sobriety as they endlessly circle the world.
One of the major deterrents to attending Counselling for the general male community is the self held belief that we should be able to look after our self and deal with our own problems.
Fortunately there are many things a man can do on his own , but doing our own therapy just does not happen
"If I could not see my problems how could I possibly think I needed to look at my behaviour" is the regular comment from fellows who have had the courage to come to Counselling and spend some time reawakening sleeping, lost abilities to identify any feelings above their waist.
From our experience in relationship therapy it seems that men of our modern society are wary of being shamed, exposed as silly or embarrassed about being exposed as weak, hopeless, or seen in any way as "NEEDY".
That is in need of being loved, cared for, or being lonely.
Let us immediately dispel that belief also. That disturbing, scary or uncomfortable sense is based in fear and you may be assured that we will most definitely frighten you. In fact the practice of Hakomi therapy is all based in creating a very safe place so that our defending and protecting parts can feel safe.
Unfortunately our good old British stock and patriarchal ancestry has left us with its "stiff upper lip" attitude. "Grin and bare it" , our "soldier on ANZAC" attitude from this back ground of stoic social conditioning. The sensitivity left us in childhood, after being innocently exposed to many and varied forms of dysfunctional social attitudes, beliefs and behaviours.
Leaving us with mental impressions and unfortunate states of habitual unconscious behaviour which our psyche reverts to when ever some emotional trigger of discomfort activates a contracting instinctual response to any threat or fear.
Such states of fear automatically activate protective breath withholding, collapsing responses, from old learned unconsciously stimulated withdrawal behaviour patterns.
We withdraw and hide our true self behind a mask of pretensive bravado or immature childish innocence.
Taking into consideration the possibility of the other parties views.
As qualified, life experienced, AIPC Diploma qualified Clinical Counsellors and Hakomi Graduate psychotherapists both Carol Stuart and Rod McClure JP from Bondi Junction Counselling Service regularly assist clients who have previously attended medical services and been prescribed mind and body numbing anti depressants to "paper over" underlying psychological wounds and trauma which body sensitive psychotherapy actually contacts for core healing.
Certainly there are times when we refer clients to our preferred psychiatrists and medical practitioners for prescription assessment which is our professional responsibility.
Sincere loving presence is essential for compassionate relationship, understanding , healing, self forgiveness and gentle care as is the practice with Hakomi practitioners who have a non judgemental, humane body sensitive connection to address some of these age old emotional stressors underlying the emotional disability such as suffocating depression and asthma.